Free-writes and Caffeinated Owls

 

Pie: Hello again 😀 It’s been a while! Thank-you saintly person for reading our blog. It’s really great to know we have people reading this (and hopefully getting some enjoyment out of it too!) The idea for this particular post came out of the blue, in my english class we have 5 minute freewrites (when you write about something for 5 minutes). Now normally I find these so called “freewrites” quite boring they make me yawn and my mind wander back to my warm bed. This freewrite was different. I started pouring out phrases that really made no sense while I was writing them. Like the  Beatles said,

“Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup,
They slither while they pass they slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my open mind,
Possessing and caressing me.”

I’m not trying to say my words hold a candle to theirs, but my words came out freely. When I wrote my freewrite I realized that the experiences that I was making up were actually my experiences in dealing with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. It was a bit odd to unknowingly write something meaningful without realizing it. This freewrite explains how my life has changed through being sick better than I think I could have attempted to explain through a different approach. Like Teddy explained in her last post about how great writing in a journal can be. Writing can help get bottled up feelings released. Same as reading can, or singing or dancing. Anything that you enjoy to help you not  concentrate on the hard days. The good days are what matters, whether they are often or far between. This freewrite means a lot to me…..It’s hard to post this actually, because it’s really personal. But that’s what this post is about! Being able to relate to one another through realistic experiences. So please enjoy!

I fell into a liquid vacuum. It sucked me up and rearranged my way of thinking. I forgot how to remember, I lost my way, I fell into the nothingness, I sunk into the sky, I dropped my heart and I ran forwards and was pushed back. Sinking into the cold eerie light underneath my leather footwear. No explanations, no destination. The only options, to keep moving, keep pushing, and to keep trusting in the nothing of the everything. I was left to exist, but I chose to defeat. Defeat the choices I was forced to make. Choices that are made for you are lies in disguise. Reasons masked up to look correct and right. Lies were fed to me by the hands of an imposter I call sickness. I’ve forgiven but I have yet to forget. It’s unlikely they did the same. In my heated anger I became unfamiliar to my own recognition. I lost what I knew and forgot what I wasn’t. Sickness views and watches what I have become. A child left to fight off an invisible force. Mechanical and robotic they attempt to destroy, while I fight to live. I beg you to do the same. Their masks will dissolve and reveal their vulnerability. No mask will be found upon my soul. They have ripped mine off to leave me raw and unprotected. I have a world to gain and nothing left to lose. What if I refuse, refuse to be their ideal victim? Will their galaxies fade and their motivation turn to dust like mine did? A ticking clock will be my answer. I am more powerful than these masked terrors. I will leave them like dust in a bloodthirsty desert. I will say to them, ‘How does it feel to be defeated by your prey? No longer will you control me! I have fought and I will win. Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome I will defeat you. I will reclaim my wishing stars, dreams, loves, aspirations, hopes, beliefs, values, heart, mind, soul, body, independence, strength, being and life. I will never be fooled by your cruel ways again.’

So, thats what a freewrite is! Now if someone says do you know what a freewrite is? You can say PSH YES! This post is a tad too depressing for me. I am sorry if you were wanting to read something more entertaining. My point in this post is for you to keep the bigger picture in mind. Even though I am still struggling with this sickness I am not letting it take over. POTS will not win because I won’t let it. This is the same thing for anyone fighting a disease or sickness. Keep an open mind, and enjoy the life you are given. For better for or worse we are all unique. This is something that has changed me and helped sculpt me to the person that I am and will become.

I am going to totally copy Teddy and put in a funny video at the end of this (serious) post. Because our blog is about making the best of a hard situation! As you know, Teddy and I are HUGE animal lovers so when we came across this video it was an instant hit. Teddy and I quote movies, videos, books, and t.v. shows like it’s going out of style. This video holds some of our favorite lines to quote. My Mommy (yes I said Mommy ❤ ) even quotes it. She will say ALLAN ALLAN ALLAN around the house if she wants to get a laugh out of me 😀

Honestly who doesn’t love dentist monkeys, Michael Jackson birds, a good game of nighttime daytime, beat-boxing chipmunks, consciences, and caffeinated owls? They are a must in my household! Thank-you once again for reading my fellow blogger! Have a splendiferous day!!

Love,

Pie

 

Pirates’ Logs and Llamas

Hello!

This is Teddy, I’ve had a bloody lot of homework so I’ve run behind on posts. I made a promise to myself that I would write a post a week, that went well. Have you ever noticed that life comes at you in threes? My parents are visiting me at college, I have a Bio 221 midterm that is sucking out my soul, and an english paper due. But that is besides the point, dear reader, this is not my freaking diary. Speaking of which, I’d actually like to talk about that in this post. Diaries, Journals, Pirates log, what have you. They are something I would deem a necessity to every POTS kid. It’s odd, I often feel to0 tired to read (and since I’m a voracious reader that’s rather problematic) but I never feel too tired to journal.

I think it’s because I’ve made a friend out of mine. Now, before you say, “Well, this Teddy character is rather weak sauce, she’s so pathetic she meets her social needs by talking to an inanimate object.” That is not the case. Well, at least not half of it : ) I do have friends, very good ones in fact. Living in a dorm surrounded by girls practically ensures friendship of some kind. But, there are some things you can’t tell your friends, or family for that matter. Things that are simply to mundane to tell people who are well. I can tell Pie just about anything and she won’t be alarmed or bored. Like, being sick nearly every week for a few days. That would alarm a normal person. They want to know if you feel better, not if you feel worse. So, like a practical person, you swallow your honesty briefly and tell a good fib. You feel much better thank you, how is your cat Mr. Tiddlywinks?

But that, my dear reader, is not the way to go about it. It causes resentment, but I don’t have to tell you that. I spent an entire year doing that in high school. Actually, to be frank, I still do that upon occasion. But then you get all that emotional buildup that stems from fermenting lies and ill health. You ponder the fact that no one cares enough to notice you’re sick as dog, and momentarily forget that of course they don’t. You lied to them  and told them that life is grand.

I would like to introduce a character that is very dear to me. His name is Bleddyn, and he is my journal. Bleddyn is the Welsh word for wolf, I found it in a splendid book by Sharon Kay Penman. She is someone I would like to talk about in depth, her writing certainly merits it. But that will be for another post. Bleddyn is my friend of the heart so to speak. He is bound in thick green leather crafted with an image of a pine forest and celtic knots. There is a designer called Oberon Designs that makes the most beautiful journals, and they use inserts so you will never “use up” a journal. Pie just buys another journal once she’s filled it up. I just take out a book insert, and put a blank new book inside the binding, ready to be inked. But that’s just meaningless aesthetic detail. Bleddyn is much more than that, he comforts me and listens to all my drivel. I think of him as a great furry wolf running through the forests of my mind.

I love beautiful things, so I researched for awhile before buying my own. I saved up all summer, and bought Bleddyn with my own money. Yes, it seems a little frivolous to buy an expensive journal, but for me it was a good investment. My older brother writes in cheap Meade notebooks, my sister gets sparkly ones at Barnes and Nobles. I bought Bleddyn at http://www.oberondesign.com/ Even if you don’t want to buy a journal just yet, they’re still fun to look at.

There are a few good rules to starting a journal.

1. Name it. Trust me, nothing feels more foolish than writing to yourself. Make sure it’s a name of someone you don’t know, don’t bother writing to someone you do know. I’ve tried that, it’s frightfully romantic for about a month and then you realize how silly it all is.

2.  Make a pact with yourself to write in it every day.

3. Whoa there, before you throw up your hands in frustration, hear me out. The third rule is that there is no strict amount to how much you write a day. Some days merit gobs and gobs of words and some don’t. There has been many a day where I’ve written the following,

Dear Bleddyn, that was awful. I’m going to bed.  -Teddy

I kid you not. There are days like that for all of us. But there are also days where you want to bemoan the universe or chatter about that adorable person who looks precisely like Johnny Depp. Which leads me to my next point,

4. Write whatever you want. There have been weeks I have written nothing about real life, because I simply didn’t want to. I wrote about dreams, a book,  or a beautiful dress I saw. It’s calming to write about something other than the mundane hours you spent doing homework (or not doing homework, as the case may be). Or may be you need to talk about the day, that you felt sick, or had a new symptom, or are simply scared.

A journal is a comfort. I don’t use the word diary because of the negative connotations. We’re not children, or maybe some of you are. And whether you’re a child or not, you still have a right to think. You have a right to feel heard and not judged, and loved by someone kinder than you feel at that moment. So, don’t give up on humanity yet. We’re in a rough place, where we can’t tell people how we really feel all the time. Yet, we also need to, desperately so.

Sorry it was a bit of a bummer post, but I do have something rather splendiferous to share as well….

LLAMAS WITH HATS! Thats right dear readers, it is the most hilarious thing to hit the web since Charlie the Unicorn (and oddly enough, by the same people) It’s sadistic, hilarious, and the most quotable youtube video ever. Some of Pie and my favorite lines are as follows:

“Oh, that is a foot. I appear to have swallowed an entire person!”

“That’s the hotel bartender Carl.”

“That explains why my mojito is taking so long.”

That, and the infamous “Caaaaaaarrrl” lines that sporadically pop up should make anyone’s day better! So, grab a pal, a cat, a sister, anyone. And prepare to be amazed. Just click on this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZUPCB9533Y and laugh your head off.

So I hope that if you learned anything, writing helps. To quote a rather splendid fellow, “keep it secret, keep it safe” (your journal, not your feelings). Get all the acid out of your system and then watch Llamas with Hats. It’s a surefire path to success!

Be well,

Teddy

Daily Diversion #2: The Sims 3

Hello, Teddy here. I’ve returned to college this week and I’m a bit miserable without Pie. That being said, I really like school a lot. My courses are fantastic, and I like to imagine I’m a heroine off on some grand adventure in the conquest of higher learning. I’m attempting to be a full time student this semester with 12 credits, which hasn’t exactly been a walk in the park so far. But as any POTS student knows, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. And by Jack I mean Teddy, and by dull I mean tuckered out. Some days it takes more than my converse high tops and a cup of orchid oolong tea to keep me going. A favorite diversion of mine (and Pie’s) is Sims 3. For those unfamiliar, its a computer game in which you control a person throughout their daily life. But its incredibly more engrossing then that simple definition. You design their clothes, house, furniture, looks, personality, and their life. For a POTS kid that has less control than she would like, you can see how this would be incredibly appealing. The best part about the game (aside from the incredible graphics) is how versatile it is.

If you like story telling, make complex characters that interact together as life long friends/enemies/lovers.

If you like architecture, you can make splendid houses that reflect your tastes.

If you enjoy interior design, go crazy with patterns and furniture. There’s really no set way that you HAVE to play, and thats what I love about it. Plus, sims are gosh darn adorable!

Especially that one 😛

Anyways, moving right along, people who play the Sims (affectionately known as simmers) are an incredibly creative bunch. They haven’t stopped at enjoying it alone in their bedroom, oh no. They make music videos (think about it, they’re most dependable actors ever), blogs with stories about their characters known as legacies, and upload the houses they build to a sim website called The Exchange so other people can play with them. It sounds like the nerdiest computer game ever created, but in actuality it’s a fine way to unleash your creativity.

I love to write so I’m usually overly critical about sim stories. That being said, there is one which blew me away. She’s a blogger named Berry, and has started a sims 3 fad known as Berry Sweet sims. You see, you can change the colors on sims to be any color you like. Most people prefer natural colors, but all of Berry’s sims are bright and cheery with sweet personalities to match. She’s an exciting writer and you all should check out her blog which records the antics of her sims in novel fashion.

http://pastelrainbowcy.wordpress.com/

Berry also makes music videos, my favorite is ‘Sweet Escape’ in which normal sims get transported to Sugar Valley (the saved file of her Berry Sweet sims). It’s quite darling and well done to boot!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO-1CvVew0c

(That’s my sim, Lavender Fleur, but she’s done in the Berry Sweet style so you get the point)

One blog I am surprised to find myself recommend is http://medleymisty.wordpress.com/ It’s a horror story told  by using the sims. I hate scary things; I read it sheerly by accident and was hooked. But, for those brave of heart and admiring of someone who can flip a phrase, check it out!

Another sims music video maker (they’re known as machinimas) named lReMi07l on youtube is spectacular. His videos are riveting portrayals depicting the rawest human emotions. No idea how he accomplishes them, but they certainly are worth a look (even if you don’t play).

http://www.youtube.com/user/lReMi07l#p/u/9/qvNCnUg8D7E This one is ‘Eternal Child’, I love the ending, it’s thought provoking.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USQMkJmRn6s This is ‘When A Firefly Dies’. He must have used a ton of game modifications, because it looks as if you are in an animated version of feudal Japan. It’s heart wrenching, yet beautiful nonetheless.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8fLR-9bT3M&feature=channel This is my very favorite.  It’s done by the same artist as the prior 2, but the premise is fantastic. I cannot get over this video, I have seen it far too many times. I can’t explain the premise, it would somehow detract from the experience. So, stop reading this and watch it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNTTXt63cn0 And last but not least, ‘In Another Life’. Pie insisted I include this one because she loves the song. It’s a sad, yet beautiful story of how two childhood friends grow apart. It’s by someone who just started making machinimas.

Well, that should be enough fun things for a week! If you have a soul, you will probably enjoy playing the Sims 3. So ask for it for your birthday, christmas, work in a sweat shop, sell a sibling, whatever! It’s well worth it. Pie agrees with me, so we have her final seal of approval 😛 She’s the artsy-fartsy one of the family, so you should listen to her! I hope you all have a lovely week, be well!

Love,

Teddy