So. You may have picked up the fact that Pie and I are rather attached to cheese. I mean, who wouldn’t? The flavors are endless, the texture superb. Pie and I both can honestly say that when we first became ill, our weight gain probably had its roots in the fact that we drowned our fatigue in cheese. So we lost the weight, and now I love to cook. And cheese is still near and dear to both of our hearts.
Which brings me to my second point.
I have gall bladder disease. Correction, had. That particular bugger made a hasty evacuation a few weeks ago at the hospital. Ever since my dig I have had stomach problems. Since that is a fairly regular POTS symptom, I ignored it. I didn’t notice my energy levels were going south (again) and that my body wasn’t really behaving well. Some foods made it worse, some made it better. Some days I was ravenous, some days I couldn’t eat. Either way, I think the danger of having a chronic illness is assuming that any bodily issue that you can deal with is normal. It took Pie 5 years of misdiagnosis to realize she had POTS. I’ve begun to assume that anything that is wrong with my body can’t be diagnosed and I should just shoulder through it. So I went to school, moved into my dorm with a dear friend, and signed up for the most amazing classes. Apparently gallbladder disease isn’t one of those things you can just ignore. I became too sick to go to class. Which for me, is kind of impressive since I’ll get there through hell or high water. After about a week of being partially bedridden, I flew home. Our airport is small, and I had friends to help me.
I’m not going to write about how painful it is, when it seems everything you’ve worked for can be undone in a second, though that certainly is a part of it. I waited until I was through my disappointment and frustration to write this. Because in all reality, it didn’t turn out to be that bad. Sure, the first few weeks of being home were terrible. I was sick as a dog and the surgery left me in a drugged state for days. I’m not glossing over that. But I am saying that a lot of good came out of it. The support, the love I felt, the realization that I’m a different person than when I became sick for the first time in high school. The last one is crucial. I’m not going to fall apart like I did when I was a teenager. I’ve done this before and I can handle it. This is important because for years I have been afraid that I would have to drop out of school and I would be stuck in a depressed puddle of uselessness at home. But it’s not true. Like always, Pie, my family, and I have made the best of it.
Day 1: The Unfortunate Choice of Looking Up What You Cannot Eat After Having Your Gallbladder Removed
All Dairy Products
Any meal that has over 3-5 grams of fat in it
Pie enjoyed this list extensively. She took her express pleasure in reading it out loud and giggling maniacally.
Day 2: Staying Up Late Contemplating The Hideous Unfairness Of It All
But, that fortunately passed fairly quickly. It’s difficult, learning how to curtail your self-pity. I was pretty consumed by it the first few years. I see people suffering with it on the web fairly often. It’s something that you can’t quite help them with. Telling someone at least they’re not starving in Africa or dying is something they already know cognitively. Leaning on what you’re grateful for and happy with is a personal lesson. For me it was a gift from God. I know my natural inclination is towards jealousy and the frustration that I’m feeling ill in a beautiful world. So, the fact that more days than not I accept my situation and can focus on my family and friends’ love and support is something akin to grace.
Day 3-Present: Bones, Sims, Meds, and Walking.
This sort of speaks for itself. I’ve nearly finished all 7 seasons of Bones, and I don’t even like watching television. This is what comes of being at home for a month and a half. But in all honesty, Netflix is a truly lovely invention. And Bones makes me inexpressibly pleased because I read my Forensic Anthropology textbook while watching it. That, plus feeling incredibly fond of all the characters made for a nice escape.
Sims is self-explantory. The newest expansion is called Supernatural and has zombies. What more can a POTS girl ask for?
And my last escape mechanism, exercise. This is a clip from a childhood favorite, Veggie Tales. Pie and I sing it rather often as it is quite applicable.
Now, it seems like the gallbladder is only the tip of the iceberg. My large intestine and liver both decided to throw temper tantrums of their own, so it seems like I’m back to the Mayo Clinic. It’s taken me the better part of a month to write this post, mostly because I’ve been so tired, and there have been a ton of tests. 3 biopsies, a surgery, countless blood draws and other nuisances. I’m sorry, I abhor when others use their blogs as a personal complaint mechanism, but I did want to explain why I’ve been MIA for months on end. Pie has a better excuse, College Applications. They have been the bane of our miserable existence. One night, she turned to me, very sweetly, and said “Thank you for getting sick so you can help me with this. Even though I wish you weren’t sick” For which I sort of think its all worth it. Granted, I would have rather had it under different circumstances. But, c’est la vie and all that. I have secret plans to force her to attend my college. This recent illness has ensured I will get TWO years to mortify her college experience muhahaha : )
Next post is a funny one, mostly because this specific topic makes me laugh at myself on a daily basis. It’s entitled The Zombie Cinderella, so I’ll leave you guessing on it.