What Am I Going To Do?

Hi guys, it is Pie! I wrote this post a couple years ago back when I was in high school. I stumbled across this little gem while I was looking through some blog posts that I never finished. Hope you enjoy it ❤

 

You know that feeling? That sick indescribable feeling when your heart sinks into your stomach and a thought flashes through your mind, “What am I going to do?” It happens a lot doesn’t it, especially on a truly awful day. It normally happens when we are at a very low point in our life, year, week, or even hour. It happens to me when I am fighting off a virus or a virus has completely taken over me. I’ve been sick twice in the past week and a half. I was really stressed about this school year because I had five classes that were extremely difficult. I missed the first three days of school because I was on vacation. Therefore, I had a lot of makeup homework. To say the least Pie was SUPER stressed out! Five hard classes and enough homework to sink a ship. That Thursday, my horse died. It was one of the worst experiences I have gone through. I had to complete my homework while doing some hard core crying. Naturally I had a test the next day. I got a cold that weekend! Even through all of this I still had an awesome weekend because my loving….my amazing….and sweet friends threw me a surprise birthday party! After that weekend I told myself

“I can’t do this. I can’t take all of these hard classes. What if I get sick and miss school? I will never catch up! I can’t even handle missing three days! I normally miss a lot more than that!!!!!”

I talked to my Mom and Teddy and they agreed with my that I needed to drop Spanish III. Spanish is the only class I am taking that I technically am not required to take. I dropped that class like a hot potato. I traded it in for a study hall. Dropping that class made all of the difference! I still have a decent amount homework but I’m not drowning in it.

With POTS I have learned what I can manage and what I have to give up. It’s a hard lesson but one that is needed to recover. If you put too much on your shoulders you will crash. I could see it before my eyes this life being unveiled to me, taking five difficult classes, taking the SATs, and applying to colleges I was going to crash who knows when! But it would surely happen. Would it be worth it? No. I don’t think it would be.

Trust me. In the long run, it’s better to put your health first. It’s not worth getting sicker. Train your mind to weed out what you can and clearly can’t do. I never plan too many things for one weekend because if I do that then I will be jeopardizing my ability to go to school the following week. If you have POTS (or any chronic illness) I feel like it’s natural to start realizing what you can do. It’s more of a HA yeah right I can’t do all of that! Crazy talk is coming out of your mouth right now! (like my reference to Legend of Korra?) ….(do you watch Legend of Korra?)…..(yes, Pie is talking about a nickelodeon show)….(Please, don’t judge me 🙂 )

I’ve been sick a lot in the past few weeks. Three times to be exact. That’s a lot of crappy Pie days. It’s scary because sometimes I question if I am coming down with a virus or if my POTS is getting worse. It’s scary and I hate the feeling of the unknown. But, freaking myself out also isn’t going to fix anything. When you are sick try to give your poor sickly little self a break. It’s really not your fault. Don’t ever EVER think this is your fault. It has absolutely nothing to do with you or me. We were “lucky” or chosen upon from a random force. WOOHOO! We won the raffle to get some supermegafoxyawesomehot chronic illness. Next time I am asking for a super power in my side effects. Because mine are clearly lacking superpowerness. My friends would probably say if I had a superpower it would be napping. I am an excellent napper. I can nap anywhere, any time. I’m not sure if this is a curse or a blessing because napping isn’t really good for us POTSters. I try not to nap often. I only nap when I am sick or when I am feeling well I will nap once every couple of weeks.

I guess I am trying to say just hang in there. I’ve used this analogy before but sometimes I’ve felt that my body is like a plane with a faulty engine and I am a passenger inside. Sometimes the plane flies smoothly but others I am really frightened and feel out of control. I have a  body with bipolar syndromes! One day I feel great the next I have the flu. I’m not bipolar though. That is not one of the syndrome baseball cards I have collected.

My sister and my family light up my bad days. Find things that fill your sad heart with light. It may not seem like much, a silly video sent from Teddy or a funny story my mom tells me but they make my hard days memorable for a good reason. It gives me a reason to laugh and be thankful. Those little things can make a bad situation tolerable. I hate the feeling of what am I going to do. I hate it. Don’t you? It makes me feel miserable! You feel isolated in a puddle of worry and sickness. This sickness can make you feel self centered. It’s not like we have a choice. We have to over analyze normal situations to make sure we are well enough to do them. Anything from working out to going to the movies with friends. Were not self centered our body is just an attention hog.

The next time you ask yourself what you are going to do and how will you manage another day take a deep breath in. It is all going to be okay. I know life can be extremely hard and frustrating but those little things that make you smile are worth holding on to. Our lives can change in an instant so when you are feeling terrible always hold on to the hope that you might feel better in an hour or a day. Try not to focus on the opposite….like in an instant you could feel terrible.

“Somedays aren’t yours at all,
They come and go
As if they’re someone else’s days
They come and leave you behind someone else’s face
And it’s harsher than yours
And colder than yours”

This song randomly popped into my head. Somedays by Regina Spektor. It fits though. Our bodies are not our own, and we are reminded on a daily basis that we don’t have full control over ours. Our souls have a purpose though. A purpose that was planted by God and we have been carrying in our bodies all of our life. It is the one part of you that makes you different. It is Teddy’s love for writing and my love of painting. It is my Mother’s love of helping and consoling others and my Father’s love for healing people. It is my bird’s love for singing and my cat’s love for eating. When you read my last few sentences I am sure something popped into your mind. That one thing that calms your heart. That one thing that tells you that everything is going to be okay. Never forget the part of you that is so incredibly unique. It is there for a reason. Just like you. It is just hides in the shadows of your bad days. But never disappears completely.

 

Love,

Little Ol’ Pie

Change of Season

 

sprouts sprouting

(This is a post I wrote over a year ago, in April of 2013. The information is still relevant)

Hello my dear Reader!

I’m sorry for the silence. I went back to Mayo Clinic… and there have been some changes. There were a lot of funny moments, most of which led up to the discovery that I have hyperadrenergic POTS

Which could be a good thing, because I looked in the mirror the other day and noticed a vague resemblance to a Teddy Graham.

teddy grahamWell isn’t that just disgustingly adorable.

I could just eat you up.

But I can’t. Because there is gluten inside of you.

I actually had something really hilarious happen when getting my MRI. They gave me something horrible to drink with lots of glucose in it, and just as they tell me to hold my breath and hold still to take the picture I got the hiccups!!

Getting-rid-of-hiccups arthur

 

Lets just say it wasn’t the most opportune timing.

This was about a month ago now, but I’ve been quiet since it’s been a lot to handle. A bunch of my medicines got changed. Well, actually all but two. Plus I’m now supposed to exercise 40 minutes of cardio using my legs and then work on my core and upper body. I could manage that. What drove me nuts was the fact that my pillow had to be up 6 inches and I had to go gluten free for a month.

the scream painting

 

Yeah. “The Scream” by Edvard Much has nothing on my horror. Just to clarify, I like to bake. A great deal. I enjoy making dinners, but confectionary delights are my joy. And wheat is a crucial part of that airy, crumbly, delicious process.

Oh, I tried. Don’t get me wrong. I tried. I bought all the right gluten free flours from Bob’s Red Mill. I ate spaghetti squash when the cravings got bad. I even tried to bake. A few of Pie’s descriptions for my baked goods were:
“This tastes like Hobbit feet”

hobbit-feet1

“What are you feeding me?! A 100 year old potato that’s still in the ground??”

Needless to say, she was not impressed. You have to be on a pretty intense learning curve and the mistakes are… inedible. For those of you who have sadistic doctors, this is a list of websites my gluten free friends gave me.

http://www.glutenfreecookingschool.com/archives/gluten-free-soy-free-all-purpose-flour-mix/ (if soy isn’t an issue, you can sub sorghum for soy since it’s easier to find)
http://glutenfreegoddess.blogspot.com/2008/02/best-vegan-baked-mac-cheese.html (glutenfreegoddess is a great blog, so many different options and they’re usually delish)
http://www.landolakes.com/recipe/1470/chewy-chocolate-chip-cookies-gluten-free-recipe (this one, if I remember right came out rather well, def the best of my cookie tries at normal cookie consistency)
http://www.cookingquinoa.net/ (quinoa blog with awesome recipes)
http://www.celiac.com/articles/21679/1/Pumpkin-Chocolate-Chip-Cookies-Gluten-Free/Page1.html (this is a good website if you’re gluten free, because celiacs can’t fudge or they’re in serious trouble, so it’s a good site to keep on track)
http://glutenfreehomemaker.com/2010/01/gluten-free-snickerdoodles-perfect/ (I think these came out the best of all my cookies, except maybe the pumpkin ones but how can you beat pumpkin?)
My favorite bread mix was by Pamela. It’s a brand thats pretty common, you should be able to find it at Trader Joes, Sprouts, or some other natural food store. Don’t do Bob’s Red Mill mix. That’s what prompted the 100 year old potato remark. Also, buy rice or almond crackers. I had no idea how frequently I reached for crackers until my entire pantry was off limits. The only flour I ended up liking was ground almond flour. It’s sweet and nutty without being overwhelming. Also, it manages to cut some of the acidic taste in the other flours. Stay away from pure coconut flour unless combined with something else. It makes the mixture SUPER chalky and grainy. Granted, I may have just been using it wrong. Anyways, if you have to go on this for any reason, good luck and God bless you. This was my own personal 9th level of hell. I was cranky and lethargic ALL MONTH LONG. So, whoever says that going gluten free makes you energetic and lose weight is someone I hope I never meet. They made me angry.
cute angry kid
Granted, the whole having to sleep with my head up super high might have contributed to the sleepiness. Nah. I’ll just blame the lack of gluten.
awkwardly sleeping cat
I think the whole thing would have been easier if I hadn’t just started eating things I liked again. Milk, chocolate, fiber, anything besides rice had been gone for a few months. I don’t know. Sometimes it just seems in POTS that as soon as something heals up it has to go berserk again. Pie once described POTS as “A day on repeat that got lost in translation” and it’s pretty true. It’s hard wanting to know the meaning about why you don’t feel well that day. It’s also hard knowing that just because you’re tired today doesn’t mean you’ll feel better tomorrow. Even if you sleep well, take all of your meds, and don’t pull the cats tail. There’s no such thing as karma in a POTS life.
So who else is diagnosed with not only POTS, but a super-special rare kind of POTS? If so, tell me about it! Honestly, my version explains some things, like the anxiety that happens when my adrenaline just leaks all over the place for no good reason. I’d love to hear from other exotically diagnosed individuals, but until then,
Be well!
Teddy

Guess Who’s Back?

My dear Friends! I hope you have not forgotten about little ol’ Pie because I most certainly have not forgotten about you! I have been MIA for a good hunk of time and that needs to change! This last year was my freshman year of college so now I return to you are a wise, mature, worldly, blah, blah, blah, blah, just kidding XD I am still me! I just have one year’s worth of new experiences to add to my list. It is summer time and I was randomly thinking about Teddy and my blog and it hit me that I hadn’t checked up on you all in quite some time! I was wondering if you have any questions in particular? Do you have any POTS related questions? Or college? Or love? Or staying positive? Or exercise related questions? ANYTHING you need some advice on! I don’t care if it is about what shirt to wear today or what movie to see. Teddy and I love helping out (Granted, I am not sure how helpful it is if I help pick out a movie for you….but I am more than willing!). We want this blog to relate and pertain to your life! We want to be able to help you in any way we can. We live with POTS and have individually lived with many different stages of this illness and we want to help you in whatever stage you are at 🙂 We send our love and keep us posted on what you want to see in the future!

Much love,

Pie

Shout Out

MIK's dysautonomia hidden heart alliance

Hey guys!

This is Teddy. I haven’t mentioned this in the past, but I follow a bunch of fellow bloggers on wordpress. Some of which are you, dear readers! Anyways, there’s a blog from a Texas family that does events to help POTS teens in their area! It’s really awesome. If I lived closer I would definitely participate. One of their events this week is a questionnaire about what it’s like and how you’ve grown through your POTS journey. It’s called “Be one of our featured bloggers”! This is a great opportunity if you don’t have a blog, but want to share your story. Or (if you’re like me) are inspired by the questions and want to support young men and women across the web who feel like they’re alone. I put the link directly underneath and I hope you guys fill it out!

http://mikshiddenheartsalliance.wordpress.com/2013/02/23/dysautonomia-teens-be-one-of-our-featured-bloggers/

Since I already have a blog, I’m guessing they probably won’t choose to feature me. So I decided to just post my answers on here, as well as sending them in.

logo

Guest Blogger for MIK’s Hidden Heart Alliance For Dysautonomia

We would love to hear from you!  Fill out the questions below, include picture(s) and email to:  info@mikshiddenhearts.org.  A big thank you to fellow blogger Dysautonomiac for the question inspiration : ) 

1. The illness I live with is:

Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS)

2. I was diagnosed with it:

I was seventeen and diagnosed at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester.

3. I first noticed my symptoms when :

 16, I got out of the bathtub one day and the next thing I know I’m on the ground, naked and shivering, trying not to pass out. I didn’t know I was lightheaded or sick. It just felt like my mind was floating a good two inches above my heavy head.

4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: 

 Hah, asking for help. I’m bullheaded to the extreme and there are some days I pretend to be strong and able to carry a heavy package or go down a flight of stairs. It doesn’t usually work, and my good friends have learned to intercept my stupidity.

5. Most people assume:

 That I have a phobia of stairs and love high, flamboyant socks.

6. The hardest part about “not so good” days are:

 Feeling like I am a burden on everyone. That I haven’t accomplished anything and the day was a waste.

7. Prior to me getting sick, I liked to:

Play tennis. I was the team captain and number one girl player in high school. Last time I tried to play I ended up in bed for two weeks it made me so ill.

8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is:

 My laptop. I named him Giles from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He’s incredibly useful for the days I can’t move and need something to do.

9. The hardest parts about the nights are:

 Needing to go to bed at around 9:00. In college, no one goes to sleep until about 1 in the morning and I always feel like I’m missing something.

10. Each day I take approximately __ pills & vitamins. 

 15

11. Regarding alternative treatments I include:

 Massage, weird muscle building exercises my dad comes up with, anti-embolism stockings, and a high sodium diet with lots of water.

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible illness I would choose:

It depends on the day. When I feel truly sick and someone walks by and tells me how great I look I tend to get a bit snarky and wish they could see what I was really dealing with. In some ways, I’m glad that it’s invisible. It means I can fly under the radar and can choose whom I tell. Then again, I’ve been lucky. When I’ve chosen to confide in people I trust, no one has ever doubted it’s a legitimate problem and I’m not just being lazy. Having an invisible illness is the best and worst thing about POTS.

13. Regarding school, I am homebound/homeschooled/attend at school and I find this:

 Frustrating. Being too sick to have a full class schedule makes me feel upset and anxious that my brain is going to mush. I’m taking two classes from the community college now and it’s getting a little better.

14. People would be surprised to know:

 I really hate cucumbers and watching on-screen kissing. It just grosses me out.

15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been:

 Feeling out of control. I had to really look at myself and realize that just because I couldn’t do something it didn’t mean I had failed.

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was:

 Blog. My sister and I have a blog called “The Misses POTS” (https://themissespots.wordpress.com/) I never anticipated the blessing that it turned out to be. Every single time someone liked, or commented on a post saying “I feel the same way” was this incredible validation that all our struggles and work meant something.

17. I feel that the general awareness about my condition is:

 Getting increasingly better. I’ve met people like nurse practitioners at my school who were completely aware what my condition entailed and were incredibly sympathetic. That, plus there’s been this huge surge of bloggers in the past few years that are really optimistic and informative. We started out being one of the only blogs that tried to explain our condition as well as embrace our lives. Now, there’s a ton. My blog roll gets longer by the day.

18. Something I really miss doing since I became ill is:

 Tennis. My whole family plays all the time and I really miss that competitive camaraderie.

19. It was really hard to have to give up:

 Cheese and chocolate. POTS gave me a stomach problem that meant I have to be really careful with my diet.

20. A new hobby / goal I have taken up since my diagnosis is:

 Cooking. It takes me a bit longer since I have to rest in the middle of recipes, but I love it. It gives this incredible sense of accomplishment.

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would:

 Get up early to go to church, and then make an elaborate brunch with my family and friends. A huge game of Ultimate Frisbee with my friends from university would follow that would last for hours. Later that afternoon I would read a really great book. That night I’d play a great game of RISK/Settlers of Catan/other take over the world game with my brothers, sisters, and cousins. Then, I’d go and get a midnight burrito at the base of my university.

22. My illness has taught me:

 How little control we actually have over our lives. And how much of a blessing it is when we do get to succeed in a small aspect of it.

23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is:

 “You look great! Are you a lot better now?”

24. But I love it when people:

 A family friend said the other day “You have done a wonderful job of making yourself look well.” She gave me a hug and it was so flattering that she realized what an effort it is to look pretty.

25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is:

 “People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyways.

If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyways.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyways.

If you find security and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyways.

The good you do today will often be forgotten. Do good anyways.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyways.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyways.”

-Mother Teresa

26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them:

 The first year of being sick is not indicative how the rest of your life is going to be. I promise. The friends you will lose due to misunderstanding, you will gain back. All those things you have to give up, some of them you will eventually learn how to incorporate back into your life. Not all of them, but some. And you will realize things you love you would have never known about if you were as active as you once were. Make sure you realize we are not entitled to health or happiness. Every clear thought, every happy moment, every day you can do some exercises, is a blessing. Treat it as such. They’re small victories. And every time you are stuck in bed for days on end, or have to cancel a Skype date or meeting with a friend? They’re not failures. They’re not your fault. You are not to blame. Be open with the people around you. Shutting out the world will just make you hurt all the more inside.

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is:

 You can’t just “get through it” or pretend like your body and feelings don’t matter. You have to tell people how you feel and respect your body.

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was:

 There have been so many, it’s impossible to pick one. When I got seriously ill this fall and had to go home for surgery, I had this outpouring of love. The kids I taught Sunday School made home made cards, my best friends at school helped my mom pack up my dorm room for me and made a poster with little notes, jokes, Bible verses, and conversations all over it. I definitely cried when I saw it. I’ve never felt so loved by people outside my family before.

29. The person(s) who has been there for me and I could not do without is:

 My mother. She can read my face like a book, and if I’m the least bit pale she rushes off and gets me something to drink like a Gatorade. Plus, she’s endlessly supportive and has sat in every waiting room with me. My family in general is incredible. My dad constantly has a new idea to add to my exercise regimen, my sister Pie never lets me drive when I feel a little sick, and my other brothers and sister are just really supportive and loving. I’m so grateful I’ve never had to try and prove I’m sick. They just believe me, without question. Also, I have a group of friends who text me every single day, and Skype me every week. I love them all so much.

30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel:

Hopeful that someone can remember we don’t stop being who we are just because we’re sick. We don’t stop being important or part of God’s plan.

BLOG

I also wanted to send a shout our to fellow bloggers (POTS or not) that I follow and enjoy reading, so I think I’ll start a blog roll (super behind the times on this one). Until that happens, these are some great blogs!

Stretchy Hannah A sincerely nice girl who lives in England with POTS and EDS. She’s awesome, and is really upbeat without avoiding the messy stuff of life.

Mik’s Hidden Hearts Alliance For Dysautonomia I don’t generally read this one as much, but if you’re considering starting some sort of POTS community you should take a leaf out of their book! It’s really great for inspiration.

The Brain Hamster This one is hard to explain. The author is a sci-fi writer who explores his Christian faith as well as a really funny and wry view on life.

Elegant Ellie’s Personal World Ok, this is a girl who I would definitely want to be friends with in real life. She’s witty and cynical and has fantastic taste in literature, music, and TV shows. Plus she collects medical problems like no one’s business so I think a lot of you guys would have aspects of her life in common. She posts a couple times a day it seems like, she’s definitely been getting me to write more.

Got No Milk Lots of recipes for those of us who have trouble with eating high fat food, or just dairy products in general. I actually followed this before I had belly problems so…. beware. It might cast a curse upon you.

Suzie Sweet Tooth To heck with eating things that don’t make me sick. To heck with health foods! This blog is AMAZING. Every bakers dream. Right here.

FISBI *cough* this one is a little awkward. I love Sim blogs. They write stories using screen shots from their sim accounts. This writer is my favorite. I could have included maybe five more like hers, but I thought she was a good representation.

Heatherhdoucet a sassy POTS mother who always makes me laugh with her posts.

Letters From Wiscalia An actual friend in real life. She’s just starting to blog so if you want to pop in and give her some tips or encouragement that would be great!

Dignitas Magazine A magazine for young Catholic women. The articles are actually amazing and the pictures beautiful. They haven’t published in awhile, but I’m holding out hope!

Well, that’s all I have for today. Adieu!

Be Well,

Teddy

cogito ergo blog

There’s nothing to do here…

Hospital_by_sheisviolence

“There’s nothing to do here,

some just whine and complain

in bed in the hospital

coming and going

asleep and awake

in bed at the hospital

tell me the story

of how you ended up here

I’ve heard it all in the hospital…” -Hospital Beds by Cold War Kids

This be Teddy.

Dude. Doctors Offices suck. Don’t get me wrong, I love the hospital. Going on rounds with my dad (Dr. Papa) is one of my favorite things to do. He explains all the syndromes and what not in layman terms and the nurses have the best sense of humor. I saw two in a fight one time (not unusual) and finally one snapped, “Oh go wipe some butt!” and that’s what she went off (presumably) to do. No nonsense. There was also an extensive debate in which case my dad was called over to hear the case about a nurse who had taken one jelly donut more than her allotment. Heaven forbid!

nurses_by_hinata17kati-d56m9x0

But doctors offices are an entirely different kettle of fish. The walls are white, they’re filled with the elderly and dying (not that we feel any better, but they often look like they’re dying of TB…), and the fluorescent lights are murder on our autonomic nervous systems. The only medical place that’s worse is the testing lab. At testing centers the nurses are CRAZY! At least in my experience. You may have had a nice, sane nurse draw your blood at a testing lab. Normal flobotomists are kind, it’s the testing centers that make them go psychotic. I almost growled at my last one, she refused to go near a cellphone. Inwardly, I said, “There are people surviving apartheids and genocides world wide. I think you can handle an electronic device.” But I refrained. And it had nothing to do with the needle she was holding above my arm. Obviously.

Excuse my rant. That little encounter was what inspired me to write this post actually. It just reinforced my slight distaste for waiting rooms of all kinds. Which led to the next question, how do we make them better?

depression-quotes-12

My research led me online. Surely there must be clever anecdote there. But it was soon clear to me that these people had never spent extensive time in a waiting room. Or in any sort of public place for that matter. Ideas ranged from stealing some poor old elderly person’s wheelchair and zooming about to pretending to have multiple personality disorder. Erm, I dunno about you guys, but I’ll pass. So I suppose my suggestions will go about the more practical lines.

1. Bring water, a jacket, and a bag. The offices are often freakishly cold.

Cold_Again_by_sunshineikimaru

2. Bring some clementines, trailmix, or something else that’s sweet and filling. Depending on how much blood the nurse draws, you may get a wee bit dizzy. Protein and sugar generally help.

3. Ipod, Zune, or whatever you kids use to listen to these days. Oldies and Bluegrass are not my thing and nurses seem to have an affinity for them. Wear earbuds, not headphones. That way you can unplug one ear and listen for the nurse to call your name. Nothing is more embarrassing than having a nurse say, “Teddy? ….Teddy?……UM EXCUSE ME IS THERE A MISS TEDDY HERE?”

231212_wainting____by_ninethousandones-d5p1j4q

4. Now for the fun stuff : ) Bring something that delights your spirit. 9 times out of 10 you won’t know anyone there so you needn’t impress them with your lofty choice of literature. I like Meg Cabot books, especially ones that have pink hearts all over them. I’m not super girly, but romance novels are a weakness.

Also, the gameboy. Pie and I should do a post about Nintendo DS games, they’re very useful for waiting rooms. I personally like Pokemon. Soul Silver and Heart of Gold are phenomenal remakes that make me kind of nostalgic for the original Pokemon games. Dagnabit, this post is really letting my dorkiness out of the bag.

6583783aaa

5. This goes along with the last one, but it really is my favorite new thing. My iphone5. It’s glorious. Useful beyond measure. Delicate, yet packed with useful items. So at this point, I just bring it and a pair of headphones. I know I just recommended ear buds, but every time I buy them they die within two months. So I’ve just decided to stick with my trusty old bomber headphones. They’re candy apple red, and have somehow lasted me 2 1/2 years. Best 40 dollars of my life. If you have earbuds that don’t somehow spontaneously combust, have at them.

What everyone has been raving about for years, are smartphone apps. So I am clearly not exactly on the cutting edge here. But, since I’ve only been rejoicing for a few grand months, these are my favorites thus far.

A. Facebook: needs no explanation

Music_by_Lay_Cat

B. Pandora: lets you listen to your custom stations for free while using other applications. I listen to my account probably more often then I listen to my jam-packed iTunes library.

C. Kindle: Yes, it’s a tiny screen. But the font isn’t that difficult to read and it downloads books honestly faster than my actual kindle does. Plus you can disguise those embarrassing romance novels.

Hercules23

D. My Ancient Greek app: I’ve been lugging about my textbook for months now, and I feel so guilty every time I don’t read it. My Greek class is the highlight of my university curriculum, and I miss it dearly. Unfortunately, as with any language, it’s easy to forget. Especially dead languages since you don’t speak them. Ever really. This app is cool, because it’s rather like being quizzed with multiple choice flashcards. It has about ten vocabulary words per level that it cycles through in different formats. It has 110 levels!!!! I think I’m on level 5… just to give you an idea. Anyways, I’m not saying you should all learn ancient Greek, but it’s really nice to reassure yourself that your brain hasn’t completely gone to mush with some sort of stimulus.

buffy the vampire slayer

E. Netflix: I can stream a movie or two a month on my allotted gigabyte usage and there are some days where you just need a Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode.

Ok, I’m majorly out of inspiration. In the end, waiting rooms are the epitome of uninteresting. So, basically, how do you make your waiting count? Because if I have to play another game of I Spy with Pie I might growl at a little old lady. Yeah, you heard me. I hope you don’t have any appointments today and feel energetic and joyful!

Be well,

Teddy

boredom

Good Day!

zombie stop sign

Good day, dear Readers!

I have to cease making internet promises, I simply do not keep them. Today I woke up with smile on my face and going about whistling so I thought I’d say hello. The past few weeks have been a bit of a struggle. I’ve been going back and forth to the Mayo Clinic again to check up on my POTS as well as my poor belly. I had another tilt table test!  I was exceedingly tetchy about it. I also had to fast all day which turns me…. rather grumpy.

grumpy bear from carebears

They put me on two weeks of a new drug, which could reset my stomach. Unfortunately it so far has just given me days of pain. But, I’ve had some lovely diversions which I would like to share with you.

First of all, while I am a little bit of a slowpoke when it comes to internet technologies. I made a pinterest a few months ago, and have enjoyed it immensely. Initially, I thought it was some sort of website for hopeless romantics to look at bridal pictures. But after Pie got one, I kept sneaking on hers until I got one of my own. So, if you would like to look at pleasant pictures, here are the links to both of ours! You’ll get to know us a little better I think, which is the only real reason I put them up here.

&

I’d love to see any of your pinterest boards if you would like to share them. I think observing what others find beautiful is quite informative. I’m not a huge fan of cheesy sayings, but if there’s one and Benedict Cumperbatch (Sherlock) is in the background I’ll blush and pin it. He’s rather handsome you see.

benedict cumperbatch portraid deviantart

I’ve hooked my whole family on Sherlock and am inordinately pleased about it. They’re all on Netflix instant play, so you really ought to watch it if you enjoy witty dialogue and a beautifully filmed adaptation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s works. To be perfectly honest, I didn’t like the books. They often completely skipped the realm of reason and had Sherlock make leaps with no feasible intuition whatsover. “There’s a footprint! It must belong to a specific individual who has just escaped their Mormon compound in Utah who is on a trip to avenge their dead fiance!” I didn’t make that plot up. You can’t improve that sort of ridiculousness. Granted, “The Hound of the Baskervilles” was good, and I love the modern day adaptations where we can follow the actors line of reasoning.

SHERLOCK benedict cumperbatch

*Cough* Moving on.

My favorite thing about Pinterest is actually my board for recipes. I called in “Pornography for the Palate”, just for a bit of tongue in cheek/risque humor. Oh, tongue in cheek. That’s rather a good pun. Anyways, I use lots of online recipes along with my cookbooks and it’s murder to find them again. I’ve tried most of them on my page, but not all. My favorite is a recipe for “Outrageous Brownies” by the barefoot contessa. I messed about with it a bit and I am confident that they are truly the best brownies I could possibly concoct. I add a bit of cinnamon, a dash of almond extract, and cut the instant coffee mix down to one tablespoon for a truly perfect blend of flavors. My dad eats them for breakfast.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/outrageous-brownies-recipe2/index.html

They turn out a LOT better than the picture, but you do have to cool them and let them harden into more of a fudge consistency.

espresso brownies

I’ve read on quite a few POTS and other chronic illness blogs complaints about how difficult it is to cook. I couldn’t agree more. The only reason I put up with the absurd idea of standing is this innate need to see something accomplished in my day. I’m a doer. Reading a book counts as doing something, as does going to the supermarket. But often my mind is too foggy to read a book, and driving isn’t quite an option.  So I keep canisters of flours and sugars and a whole host of food that doesn’t go bad quickly. I didn’t start cooking until I was 17, and it was horrid. I would feel so ill afterwords I couldn’t do my daily exercise. Plus, Pie and mum are quite healthy eaters so they weren’t thrilled with the plethora of pastries. So I started making healthy dinners instead from scratch. I know I shouldn’t, but I do feel rather guilty when I can’t help out around the house. There were so many months I never left my desk and my bed wasn’t made. So cooking for me is a way to give back to my family. I can’t carry the 50 lb bags of grain for the horses anymore, and for a long time I couldn’t muck the horse stalls. That’s still an iffy task even now. Sometimes I have to put a chair with wheels in the middle of the kitchen and wheel about to the different bowls and stove. We all want to feel useful, even if we feel often ill. So if you can think of little things to make yourself feel useful, I would recommend it. Even if it’s just watering the houseplants, one at a time. I don’t mean to be insensitive if you’re stuck in bed. I’ve been there, you just have to take one day at a time. You learn your limits, and how to live within your energy means.

lizziebennetdiares_LargeWide

I would like to introduce you to my new favorite thing of the week, The Lizzie Bennet Diaries. As you may know, I am a literary cliche. One of my favorite books of all time is Pride and Prejudice. I own several movie adaptations (Including the 6 hour one) and think Pride & Prejudice & Zombies is brilliant. So you won’t be terribly surprised that I gleefully stumbled on a vlog of a modern day Elizabeth Bennet narrating her story. The vlog is done by professional actors, and they make their characters so real it’s mind boggling. The characters chat (as themselves!) on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, etc. and have multiple video channels about their interactions. Lizzie Bennet is getting her masters in communications while living at home. Her mother is a southern belle obsessed with getting her daughters married off, each having a picket fence and 2.5 grandchildren. I love her best friend Charlotte (dressed above imitating Mr. Bennet), Lizzie is clever and judgemental (on the left dressed as her mother),

jane from the lizzie bennet diaries

her sister Jane beautiful and so sweet you feel like she’s your very best friend,

lydia from the lizzie bennet diaries

and Lydia (the combination of Kitty and Lydia) is a partygirl you roll your eyes at and simultaneously feel rather badly for. The story fits seamlessly into modern day, and each episode is only a few minutes long. It really is the ideal distraction when you can’t think and need a few minute (or a few hour) break in the day. Plus, they took the hapless Bingly and turned him into Bing Lee the medical student. Genius? I think so.

Not everyone likes it, and I must say I think they went a little too far in the wrong direction with their interpretation of Lizzie. But, all things considered, it is a two minutes well spent. Plus it has been featured in articles from the web and newspapers alike to great acclaim. I hope you enjoy it!

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Well, this post is the result of what happens when I sit down on a rainy day with a mug of hot chocolate. This has hardly been an informative or sensible post, but I do hope you enjoyed reading it. It’s nice to write about things that make me smile. I hope they make you smile too. What do you all do on a rainy day with the web at your fingertips and a hot beverage by your side? I hope you’re having as good a day as I am, and you will hear from me again soon!

Be Well,

Teddy

P.S. Pie is well, but she just started her varsity tennis season and is vying for captaincy  so she’s monstrously busy. But she’s quite well and says hello : )

girl reading a book

V Day!

valentines day darcy

Happy Valentines Day!

Despite the fact that this day usually makes me cynical and cranky (pink is really not my favorite color), this year has been rather exemplary. Because it’s an opportunity (kind of like Christmas) to surprise the ones you love. Since there’s no one special in my life, I get to give out valentines to whomever I darn well please, yourself included.

And by giving our Valentines, I mean scanning Pinterest and finding lovely pictures that invoke smiles : )

nina valentine

 

I gave this one to Pie! Mostly because I love Sherlock.

mom valentine

 

This to my mom, we watch Downton Abbey together. We both bawled our eyes out when Sybil died so I figured it was appropriate. Also, my mom had eclampsia with Pie! Oh, dark humor.

dad valentine

 

My dad LOVES Firefly (as do Pie and I)

downton abbey valentine

 

Small warning, most of these will be from Downton Abbey. It’s one of my favorite shows and has the best Valentine memes!

downton abbey valentine

 

downton abbey valentine

 

I’m pretty sure my mom would be up for this.

valentine downton abbeyAnd on to a plethora of Game of Thrones valentines!!

game of thrones valentinesHodor is my favorite ❤

firefly valentineWell, that’s all I’ve got! Bake some cookies, eat candy, and have a happy Valentines day everyone!

Love,

Teddy

Wall-E by *UVER