Pie: I love you more than a broken foot
Teddy: I love you more than cucumbers
Pie: I love you more than eating dill that tastes like caterpillars
Teddy: I love you more than the ending of the “Bridge to Terabithia”
Pie: I love you more than being sneezed on by a horse AFTER I just took a shower
Teddy: Oh, good one. I love you more than mushrooms
Pie: ….really? ❤
Teddy: Nope. I would never say that!
Pie: *stares bleakly, heart broken*
Teddy: Hehehe… Hey guys! This is one of our favorite games to play when we’re on the phone with each other : )
Pie: Today we are going talk about helpful tips for any crazy person like us.
Teddy: Otherwise known as silly tips. We clearly have too much time on our hands. We will both contribute, ten points to anyone who can guess which tip came from which sister!
Pie: So lets begin!
Do: Build a Swing
Don’t: Actually swing on the swing (unless you want the world to start spinning)
Don’t: Stand on the aforementioned swing (you will fall off)
Do: Narrate for your pets in silly voices.
Don’t: Tickle their feet
Do: Exercise every day
Don’t: Take walks outside when it’s 100 degrees out (trust me, doesn’t end well)
Do: Put a TV show on mute and fill in the dialogue.
Do: Watch Starship on youtube
Don’t: Spin in your office chair while watching it
Do: Eat cheese
Don’t: Go anywhere near a scale afterwords
Do: Quote Disney movies incessantly
Don’t: Take offense when people haven’t a clue what you are talking about (they are deprived children and must be pitied)
Don’t: Fall in love (unless you want your heart to speed up in EXTREMELY awkward situations)
Do: Drink pedialyte
Do: Tell them the reason that it’s purple is because it is made of squashed babies
Do: Not take anything we say seriously
Don’t: pay attention to that last comment
Pie: You know what? This post is really lame.
Teddy: Well, I HAD another post but you wanted to do a joint one
Pie: I must have been dropped as a child
Teddy: Oh, I made sure of that.
Pie: Oh! A good TO DO would be to do nerf gun wars!
Teddy: I could have sworn we ended this already. But I do love nerf wars. Do you think the neighbors would think us strange if we bought some nerf guns?
Pie: Probably. Anywho we mentioned earlier a youtube musical called Starship. It is FANTABULOUS! It is made by the same people who created a Very Potter Musical. We definitely recommend watching it sometime in your lifetime. It is about a bug…named Bug (bet you didn’t see that one coming) he has always been fascinated by starship rangers (who are basically awesome soldiers in space). Bug falls in love with a (very stupid) starship ranger.
Teddy: Why do they always fall for the stupid ones?
Teddy: GINNY AND HARRY, Aang and Katara, anyone on the Bachelor!
Pie: TAKE THAT BACK!
Teddy:….. Oedipus and his mother, Finn and Rachel, Persephone and Hades, Donkey and the Dragon from Shrek, Bert and Ernie
Pie: You are so strange my dear…..anyways back to Starship, here’s the link
Teddy: Seeing as it isn’t Harry Potter, I wasn’t too excited to see it. But the quotes are absolutely hilarious and all of your favorite characters are back. Except for Darren Criss, because he is on Glee.
Teddy: it’s kind of past our bedtime 😉
Pie: No I am just hearing blah blah blah blah. Just kidding! But it really is past my bedtime.
Teddy: Do you want me to tell you a bedtime story????!?!?!?!?!
Pie: Ummmm I have a bad feeling no matter how I will respond you will tell me one anyway.
Teddy: You have learned well young grasshopper. *clears throat*
Pie: *Gets milk and cookies*
Teddy: There once was a young girl who was plain but kind. Her parents loved her very much and doted upon her. They were kind people who had farmed the land for generations. Their one hope in life was that she would one day enter a marriage as filled with love as theirs was. But the girl wasn’t the type to go to market husband hunting, or to even spend time with young men at all. She preferred to go on long rides in the woods with her dog and thoroughbred, enjoying the solitude. Her parents worried about this, because they wanted to make sure she would have someone to take care of her and the farm when they died. Little did they know she had had a man in mind for some time. The times she did go to market, she ran across a boy who was handsome and charming. She, being plain and shy, did not attract his interest. He was a third son and needed to marry someone better off than himself. He was not a cruel boy, but he was cold and selfish. He did not know of her love for him, but he realized she was the best candidate in their small farming village for marriage. So slowly, he began to court her in all the usual fashion. She was elated and responded warmly. He began to think that this would not be so difficult after all. They were soon to be married. Her father was a trifle worried, though the boy had grown up on a farm he seemed to have little knowledge of how to work. He soon showed himself to be lazy and of no use at all. Her mother was worried for different reasons. Though he often told her daughter that he loved her, his caresses seemed contrived and mechanical. She saw that he was kind to her, but with such a kindness that one might treat a dog. She was worried and said so to her husband. They talked late into the night, but decided that perhaps her great love for the boy might be enough for the marriage to work. As the wedding day approached, the girl began to shrink inside. She discovered that her intended did not love her in the worst possible fashion, by observing him in the arms of another. After this encounter she found her heart to be quite broken. She took a short cut through the woods in utter despair, thinking only of how to get home as quickly as possible. Foolishly, she ran to the bay of the sea to cross the bridge instead of taking the much longer forest route.
This bridge was cursed by the people of the sea due to a wrong the land people had done them generations ago. The story was so old that most had forgotten it, but the fact remained that no one who took the bridge came back. The sea was always rough and no boat could sail or fish there. In her haste she had forgotten all of these things and rode desperately across. As soon as the horse’s hooves echoed across the wooden planks a great wave came crashing across, nearly throwing them both off the bridge. Soaking wet, they shivered as the shape of a man appeared through the water. He was tall and stately, though dressed in no clothes as far as she could see. His skin shone iridescent blue green and rippled oddly. His face was lined and weary as he looked at her and calmly told her she was to die. Despite the cruel turn of events, she did not shed a tear. Her mind was on her parents and their great grief at her impending death. She closed her eyes and bravely asked him to let her beloved dog and horse to go back home, wet as they were, to show her parents how she died. His brow furrowed and he asked after them. She opened her eyes and gladly told him of them. Their kind natures, how hardworking they were and how they had cared for her all her life. Through her words the ring of truth and love came out and he was soon convinced this was no ploy to gain his pity. He bowed his head and let her pass. When she asked why, he told her of his son and how he would grieve if only his mount came back, full of the land people’s spears and blood. He said the feud had gone on too long, and as King he would stop it altogether. She rode swiftly home, shivering from the damp and exposure to the cold. She lay asleep, feverish for days. Her parents feared for her very life. Through months of recovery, she canceled the wedding and refused to meet with the man she had once loved.
A broken heart is a hard thing to mend, but she sought solace in her dreams of underwater cities and sea people. She saw them vividly and longed for the day she could leave her bed and seek them out herself. When she was well, she returned to the bridge. The sea was quiet, and the sun was full and strong. She gazed sadly at the still waters, and turned to leave when a wave appeared. A sea man, emerged from the waters like the sea King she had met before. He was his son, and looked very much like him. She liked his open, honest face and carefree smile. He thanked her for making his father abate his anger with the land people. Such a weight had been on the King’s shoulders for many years and the prince had felt it would never end. While telling her this, a true smile lit her plain features with elation and compassion. He thought her beautiful and, being young, stayed talking to her far longer than he intended. He shyly asked to see her the next day and -perhaps not knowing herself why-she agreed.
They met often and her parents soon grew accustomed to seeing their daughter once more smile and laugh with them. Though they did not know what was the source of her great joy, they wisely did not ask. The two friends grew closer and closer, falling in love all the while. But they were bound to their separate realms which was a great burden to them. They dared not speak of love, and slowly they grew silent with each other. His skin felt clammy and ill to her, and likewise her skin felt unbearably hot to him. One day, he was terribly excited about something and would not tell her why, only that he had to go away for a few days. She assumed he had fallen in love with a mermaid like himself and grew desolate. She didn’t think her heart could bear to be broken twice in so short a time. He returned happier still and took her hands in his. He had been to see a sea witch and asked if he could bring his love to his kingdom. She said the only spell was to say he loved her truly, and with a kiss she could join him whenever she liked. It was so, and they began to travel to his kingdom frequently. She became loved by his parents and they rejoiced in their son’s choice. Finally, she became courageous enough to tell him she loved him too, and with a kiss he could join her on land. Her parents liked him for his honest face and heart. They married despite their differences, dividing their time betwixt sea and shore. They had ten children, two of which were farmers and two of which were mermaids. But all the others were a little of both, cementing the ties between land and sea forever. The family lived strong for many many generations, but they never forgot the tale of their ancestor’s great love that brought them together.
Pie: *dead asleep*
Teddy: Goodnight guys : )
TeDdY aNd pIe